In Praeterito
by Auriliayh Ayohna Esrodeyl
Summary: The Golden Trio and their slimy Slytherin rival never expected to be sucked into the past, they never expected to meet their parents generation, and, darnit, they certainly didn't expect to have three fates fooling with their lives. HPDM JPLE many more
1. Um Harry?

HIIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAA!!!!! I'm a hyperactive little twit, and she's an obsessive freak. Or, that's what Kayla tells us anyway. We're going to write a story cause we're special. It's all intricate and complex, so we're going to make it suitable for our brains. This is OUR story:  
  
**Tumbleweeds roll by**  
  
And this is YOUR story: Four elderly wizards with long...purple? beards apperated into the smallest bedroom on Number 4 Privet Drive, carrying the limp form of Harry Potter between them. With a forlorn shake of his head, the youngest among them muttered the word "innervate", and quickly took a step back.  
  
Grinning, Harry popped up, wand in hand, causing the four to clutch their beards in obvious fear.  
  
"Hi," the boy chirped, " I can fix that, you know."  
  
"No!" the men cried in unison, diving into the traditional bomb-threat position.  
  
"Okay then, can we try again?" he asked, abnormally cheerful. Within the blink of an eye, he had disappeared with a loud crack, appearing again in a large, marble chamber. From across the room a pair of cold silver eyes turned to Harry's wide green ones, as Draco Malfoy turned from the neat pile of clothing he was about to replace the black towel about his hips with.  
  
The delicious concoction of Harry's fantasy raised an elegant eyebrow as Harry's eyes drifted to the trim waist where the towel had managed to drop a little.  
  
"Harry!" one of the men cried, causing Draco to jump, startled, and lose his grip on the towel just as Harry disappeared from to room.  
  
The five apparated back into the Dursley's house, four fuming wizards turning black glares on the Boy-Who-Lived.  
  
"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU DOING APPERATING THERE? DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WERE?" the man with the longest, and most vibrantly purple beard shouted, making the obliviously cheerful Harry glad his relatives were out for the day.  
  
"It was the wrong thought. It's not my fault. It just popped into my head," the boy said with a pout, "But you have to admit, it was rather..."  
  
"Don't even think about finishing that sentence," the youngest of the old wizards ordered, taking in the bright look, "I don't want to know. And this time, we'll stay in the room. You can try apparating into that corner there."  
  
"Alright," Harry chirped, finally getting the whole apparating thing right with a thoroughly clueless smile.  
  
The four elderly men sighed in relief as one, actually going to the extent of hugging in their glee.  
  
"Very good Harry, we're almost through now," the eldest said with what sounded suspiciously like tears in his voice.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry apparated into the Weasley's crowded kitchen a few days later, proud grin in place. Instantly, he was enveloped in a bone-crushing hug by an enthusiastic Mrs. Weasley. Her heart-felt welcome also sounded the beginning for a mad rush of feet on the stays.  
  
"I see you've got your liscence. Oh, I couldn't be more proud of you. Ron got his just last month. Oh, here Ron is now, Harry dear," she said at exactly the moment Ron appeared at the foot of the stairs. Mrs. Weasley stared at her son in consternation, though, once she noted his garb.  
  
"Ronald Weasley, you go put some clothing on," she cried almost simaltaniously with Harry's, "Oh my God, those are so fricken awesome!."  
  
They were, of course, refering to the black boxers with golden snitches and the phrase "Catch the Golden Snitch," printed all over them. Ron, though, was oblivious to this, so he just proceeded to ensnare his much shorter friend in a bone-popping hug.  
  
"HARRY," two feminine voices squealed at the same time as Ginny and Hermione finally arrived.  
  
"We heard.."  
  
"Yelling and decided to.."  
  
"See what was going on. We're so glad you're.."  
  
"..here. We're going.."  
  
"Shopping," the two cried in unison.  
  
Harry's eyes lit with joy as his grin grew into a full-blown smile as he enthusiastically cried, "Oh, I can't wait to go," and dragged them to the fireplace, impatiently waiting for Mrs. Weasley and Ron to reach them.  
  
In a matter of minutes, they had all flooed to Diagon Alley, Ginny and Hermione dropping Harry off at Boxers and Boners with a giggle, and telling him to meet them at Madame Malkins when he was done.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry's eyes went wide as he looked around. This certainly wasn't what he had expected. He had no idea what they were doing. He watched as a man, who was called Thomas by a woman dressed in an incredibly short skirt (wasn't that drafty?), put on bright red lipstick. He certainly must have felt like being pretty. Harry's aunt Petunia wore the same thing when her and his uncle disappeared into the bedroom. She always came out a bit less strict then when she went in, so it was a good color, obviously. It made people happy.  
  
A tall, slim man with a well-built chest, curly brown hair, and leering hazel eyes approached Harry, casually draping his arms around the boy.  
  
"Aren't you cold? You're not wearing anything except boxers. It's kinda cold outside. You should put on some more clothes," Harry stated in a concerned sort of voice.  
  
The man quickly dropped his arms away, giving the boy a once over.  
  
"Kid, how old are you, and how'd you find this place?" he asked, signaling another of the men over. "Rick, I need you to escort the kid back to the bookshop or something. He's obviously lost."  
  
"Oh no, Hermione and Ginny left me here to get some boxers like Ron's. I'm sposed to meet them at Madam Malkin's after I finish. We're getting ready to go back to Hogwarts. What is this place anyway? Are you guys getting dressed for a play? I love plays. Professor Dumbledore said there used to be plays at Hogwarts, but people stopped acting in them. I would act in them," he rambled, barely stopping for breath.  
  
Rick had been staring at the boy as he chattered on, or, at his lower region anyway, but his eyes darted upwards when Thomas jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow, hissing something about a bed.  
  
"Good Lord boy, you're Harry Potter. I remember James coming to cousin's house when I was a boy. You look just like him. You certainly ain't acting like him though. Believe me boy, you're too young to know what this place is if you have to ask. I'll take you back the robe shop now. Come on," he urged when Harry didn't move, running a hand through his long black hair with a hiss.  
  
"I want boxers like Ron's though. They say 'catch the golden snitch' and I'm a seeker on the Quidditch team."  
  
"Sorry, we're all out. How about some with broomsticks on them? They say 'fly high' all over," Thomas piped up enthusiastically; ignoring the dark look Rick shot him.  
  
"Okay," Harry said brightly, happily taking a pair in his size.  
  
"Move it kid. I've got to be back before noon. We've got a show to do." ***************************************************************************  
  
Harry cheerfully waved good-bye to the scantily dressed man as he bounced into the robe shop, calling out to his friends. Ginny looked up from the blue silk dress robe she was admiring to wave the boy over, a curious frown on her face. He was acting.oddly. He had been so cheerful, and even more clueless then usual. It was as if he had finally snapped under all the pressure, or something.  
  
"Ohh," Harry breathed, staring at the robe she was holding when he reached her, "you would look gorgeous in that. I'm going to buy it. Then you can wear it to the Christmas ball."  
  
"You can't do that, Harry. It wouldn't be right. It's your money, and this robe is extremely expensive," Ginny mournfully stated.  
  
"Exactly, it's my money. I think I should buy it," he chirped, " and if I do, I certainly can't wear it so you have too. It can be a Christmas/Birthday present to make up for all the ones I missed. So there." And with that, he stuck out his tongue and turned away, trying a find a robe for himself.  
  
"Thanks, I guess," the girl mumbled, rubbing the smooth fabric across her cheek.  
  
Bouncing now, Harry turned back towards her, practically tackling her as he gave her a hug. "I knew you'd like it. See, and I can get one to match it. We'll go together, and Malfoy can't make fun of us cause we'll be as well dressed as him. Do you think Ron would like one? I think we should get him a new one too. Mione's already got a new robe, so we can't get her one. Too bad, though. I think she'd look good in that one," he chattered happily.  
  
Ginny smiled distantly as she blocked him out. Whatever was up with him, she certainly hoped it wore off soon. If it didn't, she was sure she would end up as the one who killed the famous Harry Potter.  
  
"Harry, it's time to go. We've got to get our books, and I need to refill some of my potions stuff. Plus Mum and Dad said I get a cat this year," she finally interrupted, dragging the boy from the robe shop.  
  
********************  
  
The train to Hogwarts looked like it had every other year. There were no dark figures waiting in the shadows to jump out at him. There were no hooded creatures trying to suck his soul. The station was empty of all the things that threatened the wizarding world, it seemed. Of the few students still outside the train, only two were Slytherins. The station looked untouched by the war. Voldemort was so distant from this place that led to a haven of sorts.  
  
Harry swiped irately at the clump of hair that had fallen over his eyes as he studied the station. The unusually high heat had made him rather cross, and he had snapped at Ron and Hermione. After exchanging those infuriating concerned glances that they thought he couldn't see, they had gotten on the train to grab a compartment. He had felt rather low for it, since they hadn't actually done anything, and they had left him to his privacy without question. He knew that being allowed to wait in the station instead of on the train was something he normally wouldn't be allowed to do.  
  
If only that strange feeling in the back of his mind would go away. He knew that had something to do with he heated words. He had been trying to worm out the strange sensation to figure out what it was. He didn't like not knowing his own mind. It was a weakness Voldemort was sure to monopolize.  
  
A noise broke Harry from his reverie in time to notice that the station was now empty of students. With a curse he broke for the train at a run, hoping he would catch it before it took off. He couldn't miss the train. There was no flying car this time. He was almost there. With a triumphant smile, the green-eyed boy swung onto the train and worked his way towards the last compartment, swaying with the movement of the now moving crimson steamer.  
  
Five people looked up with slightly relieved looking grins as Harry finally entered the compartment. He could practically read what was going on in their minds.  
  
'I thought he wouldn't make it' 'I was sure he wasn't coming' 'He's acting so strange, why did he stay away for so long'  
  
Harry blinked rapidly as the thoughts intruded upon his mind. He definitely wasn't the one thinking them. With a confused frown marring his forehead he carefully looked at each of the people before him. Ginny, Neville, Luna, Seamus, and Dean; they all looked so normal and happy. Had they spoken?  
  
"Hey, Harry, have you seen Malfoy yet? There's something strange about him," Seamus asked in his usual tone, not as if he had just been questioning whether Harry would show up.  
  
Startled again from his thoughts, Harry turned his gaze to the casually reclining boy. "You mean besides the fact that he's a Mal-" he trailed off as another thought barged into his mind.  
  
'Malfoy's incredibly sexy I wish he would like me'  
  
"Harry, are you all right?" Ginny asked in a concerned, mothering hen voice.  
  
"Er, yeah. I'm fine. I've just got a slight headache is all," he lied, tugging at the clump of hair that had once again fallen over his eyes. He saw fear leap into the girl's eyes as she gave him a questioning look. If it wasn't Ron, it was his family.  
  
"No, it's not Voldemort. The heat is just getting to me. It shouldn't be so hot so late in the season. I'm sure I'll be fine once we get to the school," he sighed.  
  
"If you'd like, I've got something for that in my purse," she offered helpfully, pulling out a bottle of Midol with a huge grin.  
  
Harry heard Seamus and Dean snicker as he popped two of white and blue pills into his mouth. Turning he saw a smiling Luna, confused Neville, and the incredibly mirthful pair all trying not to laugh.  
  
"Is it that time of the month then, Mate? I never knew," Dean, crowed right as the compartment doors swung open and a brilliant red streak rushed in, followed closely by a fuming Hermione, panting furiously.  
  
"Ron Weasley, get your rule breaking, bad mouthing ass back here and let me curse you. You won't be able to walk for a month after I'm finished with you. You ought to know better then to curse another student, and then shout profanity in front of the first years. I'm going to break your fucking wand in two you bastard."  
  
Ron simply ducked behind Harry's seat as the brown-haired girl shouted at him at the top of her lungs. It wasn't like he had meant to make her mad. How was he supposed to know she had become friends with the amber-eyed prick Rett Weslend? He was a Slytherin of all things.  
  
"He's the one that started it. He insulted my family. He made that stupid comment about us being poor that Malfoy uses."  
  
"You fucking moron, he was talking about his garden, not your money," she shouted furiously as the rest of the people in the train compartment stared at her in wonder. They had never heard her cuss so much. Sure, she sometimes slipped up and said one occasionally, but this was beyond weird.  
  
"Um, 'Mione, can you please calm down. I, uh, have a head-ache and you're being awfully loud," Harry quietly stated, rubbing a hand across his head.  
  
The girl's features instantly softened as she looked at him with concern. Her brown eyes displayed worry as they flickered toward the scar on his forehead.  
  
"You poor thing. I'm so sorry. I've been so loud because of that moron and you're suffering for it. Do you want something for it? I've got some muggle pills, and Madam Pomfrey taught me a spell for migraines."  
  
Ron cautiously edged further behind the seat as Harry smiled softly at the witch. He wasn't going to risk her anger again. He'd just stay there the entire ride. Harry wouldn't mind. Of course, it did give him the rather nauseating view of what Seamus considered flirting. Hermione would be calm by the time they reached the school.  
  
"No, Ginny has already given me something. I'll be fine, really," he stated firmly, smiling slightly, "but I am a bit bored. Anyone have a game to play?"  
  
As Ginny was about to suggest Exploding Snaps, Dean looked up with a strange glint in his eyes and interrupted her. "We're going to play truth- or-dare. It's really simple, I promise. We'll sit in a circle, and I'll start. I can ask anybody I want truth or dare, and they have to choose one. If they choose dare, they have to do whatever I dare them too. If they choose truth, they have to honestly answer any question I ask them. Simple, right?"  
  
Everybody but Hermione was exchanging rather confused glances over the rules, but the spark of interest had been kindled. With shrugs and 'all rights' they settled down to play, even though Dean was cackling and rubbing his hands together evilly.  
  
"Ginny, truth or dare?" he asked trying to suppress the urge to cackle again.  
  
"Dare?"  
  
"Luv, I dare you to run down to the next compartment and kiss the first person you see. And no you can not pretend you did, because I'm coming with you. We'll be right back," he said rather quickly so Ginny couldn't say anything in protest. Grabbing her by the hand he rushed out the doors, mysteriously producing a camera as he did. We evil grins, Luna, and Seamus ran out also, grabbing Neville on the way.  
  
"Um, Harry, truth or dare until they get back," Hermione asked.  
  
"Truth," the boy replied, not relishing the prospect of kissing random people on the train. That was just..wrong.  
  
"Who all have you slept with? I mean, like, intimately," she hurried on, blood rushing to her cheeks. Damn the school's betting pool for forcing her to find out. At least she'd know before Dean, so he couldn't have his way. It was a stupid plan of using the game to get the info before her.  
  
Harry's cheeks flamed with color as he stared at his friend in open- mouthed shock. It was a few seconds before he could compose himself and speak again. "I'm still a virgin."  
  
The doors swung open only moments after he said that and a rather disheveled Malfoy stumbled in. He looked at the three people staring at him for a long moment with an empty gaze before he suddenly snapped to and fixed a cold sneer upon his features.  
  
"Well if this isn't a pathetic lot; the mudblood, the traitor, and the Golden Boy," he spat out with a challenging gaze. Immediately three wands were pointed at him, poised for attack.  
  
"Oh, and what's this? Attacking a prefect. How very mature of you. Wouldn't you just love seeing me rolling on the floor screaming from pain inflicted upon me by your wands? Perhaps a few deformities will be added also, no? Do as you wish. I won't stop you, and I won't dodge," he deadpanned.  
  
With confused glances the three lowered their wands, only to raise them again a huge white ball of energy exploded in the middle of the compartment, making the room seem to spin. When the energy cleared, they were standing in the back of the compartment, watching Draco stumble in, speak coldly to the Golden Trio, and pause as the energy mass started to form again. As one, Harry and Ron raised their wands to stop it, and suddenly the energy turned black. In shock, the four watched as their other bodies disappeared in a shroud of darkness, pained screams echoing through the train.  
  
:: Jumps the readers:: Was that dramatic enough? We put a cliffy in just for you guys, because we know how much readers love cliffhangers. This is just the prologue, though, so there will be more. We're not working very fast though, because we're typing this in our spare time in drafting class. It's taken us three days to get this much done. We'll try and work on it some at home, also. Now you can click that little thingummy down there, the one that has the words on it, and leave us lotsa lovely things to read from you. Flames are accepted yes, for they are fun to read. We do prefer C&C though. If you think we should continue you're welcome to say so, though we plan on it anyway.  
  
Oh, and as a parting gift I give you your very own LeatherPants!Draco plushy. Don't abuse it too badly. ^^ Maliciously  
  
::Sidenote from Auriliayh:: Okay, we're working on chapter two. In fact, I'm almost done typing it up. Unfortunetely, I've been getting grounded a lot, and I'm the one that does most of the body work. Ayohna and Esrodeyl are our idea people. We're reposting this because, well, just because, but it's been sitting for forever. Sorry. The rest of the chapters should come much faster. They're easier to write, and we've already got a lot of information compiled on a lot of the chapters. 


	2. Past Conflicts

Were horribly sorry about the long wait (but we doubt we have any fans, and if we do n.n please let us know ). For anyone who is reading this story we hope that your having as much fun reading it as we are of writing it.

Disclaimer: We don't own any of this EXCEPT the Esrodeyls. We don't own anything involving Harry Potter books, but gods can we twist the hell out of it. Oh and I think we link something back to Jimmy Nuetron, review if you can find it. Anyways we don't own that either.

/read.php?storyid=1828697In Praeterito

Past Conflicts

Sirius loped along with all the speed he could muster, occasionally tossing back a rude comment to spur his best friend on. He was almost to the door. He would surely reach saftey before James could catch him. That part would be...uncomfortable. James was stronger then him from all those years of trying to impress Lily.

Sirius gave an excited whoop as he skidded to a halt in the kitchen. James's mom was busy preparing a meal, and she was the perfect cover.

"Mrs. Potter, so good to see you. Please don't mind me. I'll just be hiding behind you," he gasped out to the incredibly hot woman. Mrs. Potter was always doing stuff for him.

"Oh Sirius dear, is James after you again? I'll just have to take care of that. Picking on poor innocent little darlings like you." Turning, she wrapped the smirking Sirius in a warm hug just as James dashed in. Sirius stood a full head over Sarah Potter, and two inches over James. That always made her codling rather humerous.

"Sirius, leave my mom alone. My fight is with you. Get over here and face me like a man."

With fire in her eyes, Sarah rounded on her son. She simply would not stand for that type of attitude. "James Potter, I do not care what sort of imagined insult you think this poor boy gave you, but if you threaten him one more time you're gonna see just what your mamma can do. You're not to big to be beaten, and well you, oh hello Remus dear. Are you just arriving? Your parents haven't left yet have they? I've not talked to Valkira in forever," the woman rambled, completely forgetting her tirade when Remus walked through the door.

"Sorry Mrs. Potter, but I went solo this time. Mum and Dad had a big thing to prepare for with Romy today. They sent their love though," he responded cordially, before continuing, "Is Anna here? Romulus wanted me to give her something."

James stepped out from behind the cabinet he had dodged behind when his mother started screaming to grin at his friend. "Nope, the brat's with Dad. He's taking her to buy her school supplies. It's her first year, and he decided she's going to that stupid french school instead of Hogwarts. Where's Rom going?"

"Mum and Dad are shipping him off to Durmstrang, like they wanted to do with me," the brown-haired boy replied with a slight shrug. "Where's Peter? He's usually the first here."

Sirius gave Remus a mischieveous grin as he placed his hands over the smiling Mrs. Potters ears. In a fake whisper he said, "I sent him to pilfer James's drawer. The poor fool actually leaves love letters to his one true love in there. Peter hit his head on the way down the steps."

Remus raised an eyebrow, glancing at the steps, which had absolutely no hangings above them. "What did he hit his head on, pray tell."

"James's fist. The poor boy never saw it coming. James is so abusive of poor little Peter. It's just sad. I think Mrs. Potter should beat him. He deserves it, doesn't he Remus?"

"I'm so not getting into this. I'm going to put my stuff up, if you'll excuse me. It's been nice talking to you again, Mrs. Potter," Remus said into the air before walking slowly up the stairs.

Downstairs Sirius shook his head while throwing his arm around James. "Remus is so rude sometimes. I swear. What a degenerate lot of friends I have. Without me, you'd all be hopeless. It's okay though, because I love you," the blue-eyed teen laughed before letting go of James and dashing up the stairs himself.

"I'm going to kill him, Mum. He's an evil prick," James muttered darkly before stalking up after his friends. Mrs. Potter was left to giggle over their exploits in the kitchen.

---------------

James looked at the barrier to 9 and 3/4s, wondering whether they should cross over, or stick around in Muggle London for a bit of fun. There was a fat guard screaming at a few teenage boys that just looked like the perfect target for a prank.

"What do you guys think, go or stay?" he asked without turning around.

"Well I'm going across. We've got to put our plan into action," Sirius

proclaimed, grinning ever so slightly with a raised brow, as if challenging his friends.

"Yeah, I guess we should go across too, we've still got a few kinks to work out. Come on Peter."

With an unconscious air of aristocratic demand, James gestured for the other three to follow him as he calmly walked toward the platform. This, more then even the calmly preening owl perched upon his stuff, caused people to stare at him. Too bad Sirius diverted more gazes with his stunning Black looks. Many an unfortunate woman sighed unhappily as she lost sight of the two stunning males and their slightly less distracting companions.

"Do you guys see Lily anywhere?" James asked immediately after they crossed over.

"James, you are so obsessive. Lily doesn't like you," the ever polite Sirius immediately shot back.

"Shove it Sirius," James repsonded in a rather rude tone.

"Nope, nuh-uh, no way, never. I love Remy, not you," Sirius responded rather impishly. "But if you swing that way, then I can find you someone one else."

James stared rather blankly at Sirius, not quite comprehending, while Remus growled low in his throat.

"For the last time Sirius... we are not lovers! I do not want to snuggle with you okay?" Remus coughed out.

"Yuh huh, sure whatever Remy. Oh yeah you know you want me " Sirius did a little pose (a/n: We are the Ginyu Force) before laughing while he skipped towards the train.

"He's strange," James finally said, earning nods of agreement from Remus and Peter.

They followed Mr. I'm-so-hott-that-I-can-pretend-to-be-gay-and-no-one-cares to the train. Sirius quickly chose a compartment, and put a giant sign on it that stated "He who crosses this door musn't smell of slytherin or feel of grease"

After registering what the sign said James quickly scribbled at the bottom "Not that we will be touching you"

Remus snorted before taking out a marker and corrected random grammatical errors. With an evil smile he looked at his three companions. "How many times have I told you that if you're going to insult people through written word, you should atleast do it correctly."

"Remus, you're so smart," Peter simpered like an obsessive whore, causing Sirius to pounce on him to start a mock war.

--------------

The Great Hall resounded with excited chatter and relieved laughter. Hogwarts was a haven. Leaving for two months was enough to put stress on anyone. At Hogwarts, there was no constant fear that you might not wake up the next day.

Dumbledore knew this, which is why he was waiting. He didn't want to ruin the happiness that being there brought on with such horrendous news. But he had to. With an air of solemnity he rose, pausing until all eyes were on him.

"My beloved students and collegues, I have sad news to tell you this day. As many of you may have noticed, the places usually filled by your heads of houses are left vacant again this year. While in years past, this was merely caused by thier laying extra last minute charms to protect our school, this year the cause is much more sinister in nature. This summer, as many of you know, there was a large battle against the dark forces that took many lives. Professors Barbete, LaRue, Menel, Filingtin, Maydock and myself were some of the many people who fought in that battle. Unfortunately, few people came away with their lives. Professor Menel, Barbete, and Filington were sadly some of the casualties of this battle. I feel a moment should be taken to honor the memories of these brave people." For a full minute silence reigned supreme in the great hall.

"And now, on a brighter note, I would like to introduce our new teachers. I do believe I hear them now," the old man said as the doors opened, admitting the Hufflepuff head of house, LaVinia Larue and three women who looked like the students themselves.

The student body, almost as one, turned to stare at the new admittances. Quite a few male mouths dropped at the sight before them. Three women with figures that fit "hourglass" to a tee, and pretty faces to boot.

At the Gryffindor table, Sirius Black let out an obnoxiously loud catcall. "Remus, you have some competition. Just look at her. I think I'm in love. James, the plan may be off."

"Sirius," James hissed, "you are not going to ruin the prank. Either you start right now, or I'm going to get the Slythi-jerks to gang up on you in a dark hallway. I hear Severus is out for a bit of your ass."

Sirius sent a weary glance to the other side of the hall. "Fine James... let's get this started" A malicious smirk appeared on his face as he jumped up with faux hatred. "James I am sick of your arrogance and complete disregard for what I say. YOU DO KNOW that when we started this little club ME AND YOU WERE LEADERS TOGETHER, but now your too stuck up Little Miss Lilian's ass to care what any of us have to say!"

"Partial founders of the club are we? GET REAL SIRIUS, you have about as much control over us as you have over your sex drive. SURE YOU MAY PLAY OFF THAT YOUR STRAIGHT but inside we all know you're just a little boy wanting another little boy AKA REMUS? "

Remus let out a loud growl. "COULD YOU TWO LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS? And dammit, IT'S YOU AND I SIRIUS, NOT ME AND YOU!"

Sirius looked at Remus and winked "Oh Remmy, we're terribly sorry for disturbing you. It wouldnt have happened if James wasn't such a STUCK UP ASS HOLE!" Sirius said, shouting the last bit with more venom then anyone had ever heard out of him.

"You know what, I've had enough of your back talk. FROM NOW ON THE MARAUDERS ARE OF THREE! Our DEAR Padfoot will be with us no longer," The great hall gasped in horror, James turned to Sirius with a devious smirk," So says number 1 by the name of Prongs."

Sirius stood there glaring, "You think your just going to kick me out of the group that I helped create? Well if I'm going, I"M TAKING REMUS WITH ME!! So says number fucking two by the name of Prongs!" Sirius proceeded to grab Remus rather girlishly, not realizing his mistake, and stomp out of the Great Hall, leaving everyone's mouths a gap.

"I'M PRONGS DAMN YOU!" James shouted after him before grabbing poor Peter, who was nearly in tears at this point, and pulling him from the room with a frustrated growl. A second, much louder slam followed.

Dumbledore didn't even finish his begining of year announcments; he and the rest of the great hall just calmly ate their food in silence..

-----------

The 7th Year boy's dorm door was flung open as Sirius rushed in, pulling Remus with him. As soon as he heard the door click he bursted with laughter, Remus shook his head, calmly waiting for the rest of the "Ex"-Maruaders to enter the room.

"Guys, that was brilliant. I swear to you that Sevvy and some of the Slytherin girls had a cheerleading squad going. Luscious Lucius looked about ready to cry with joy. I think even Dumbledore believed it," Sirius cried when James finally walked through the door, still dragging Peter.

"Guys, that wasn't fair. Why didn't you tell me we were having a fight as our prank this year. I thought you really split up. I would have been stuck all alone. That's not fair. I'm determined to be mad at you now," Peter said with a cute little pout on his round little face.

"Peter, we did tell you about it. It was partly your idea. You said we should do that thing we did when Sirius tried that "Join the You've Been Jipped Out of a Gallon Club" thing. Which basically meant we should mock argue. We just decided to make the argument a lot worse. How can we help it if you forgot? We even talked about it on the train," James said, trying to soothe him.

"But, but, but....."

"James is telling the truth this time Peter," Remus cut the boy off, albeit gently. "We really have been talking about it for a while. You're performance was very convincing though. You did splendidly. Isn't that right, guys?" he asked the other two Marauders with an edge of warning in his voice.

"Yeah, brilliantly, Pete," Sirius threw in while James merely nodded.

With a I'm-Six-And-I-Did-Something-Good smile Peter puffed out his chest and started strutting around the room. "Remus is mine. No I'm Not! You're out Padfoot. So says number one by the name of Prongs," Peter said, poorly mimicking the other three boys. "Me and You Prongs. It's You and I. You guys are funny. Did you see the new teachers? The pretty one with the really long hair was in the floor laughing. The one with the really short hair was smiling. The reallllly pretty one just stood there though. I don't guess they know about us."

Sirius got an almost dreamy, lovestruck look on his face. "They will though, or atleast about me. Most definately."

"Oh Sirius, I'm so jealous," Remus said, more then a little sarcasm.

"Really?" Sirius asked brightly.

"No."

"Oh Remus," James snorted with helpless laughter, "he's crushed. I think he's going to cry."

Peter casually patted Sirius on his back, smiling. "How bout we all go to bed instead of picking on Sirius."

---------

The Marauders entered the Great Hall to hushed whispers. As they made their way to their seats at the Gryffindor table, there was a sudden explosion of noice. Everything quieted once again, though, as the boys sat down. Lily Evans was on the rampage. For such a quiet, sweet girl, her explosions of anger were fun. And only one person could inspire them.

"JAMES ISAAC POTTER!" the redhead screeched, "Where the Hell do you get off pulling something like that? Fucking kicking poor Sirius out of the Marauders was bad enough, but it just being another one of your pranks was worse. And don't even start playing innocent Sirius. I heard my name mentioned last night. You're as much in trouble as James is. And Remus. I can't even believe you would go along with something like that. It's demeaning. Poor Peter probably had no idea what was going on. I should kick all of your asses. Instead, I'm just going to curse you." After finishing her tirade, Lily walked away, muttering something.

James smirked after her, eyes on her bum. "That was ra-..." he started, before he was jerked off balance. His arms were pulled behind his back and tied at the wrists to Sirius and Remus's wrists. With a silent curse, he watched as his clothes disappeared, leaving nothing but a pair of pink boxers that said Lily. Definately not the pair he had put on that morning.

Laughter, and mocking repetions of "Lily Evans Rocks" followed the three boys out of the Great Hall. Peter casually skipped along behind them, singing the same thing as he read the three pairs of boxers.

"I hope Madame Malgon can dissolve the stupid ties on our wrists. Lily really did her job this time. We can't put any clothes on like this. And besides that, I'm stuck with you two," Remus said in disgust.

"Just sod off, Remus," James seethed.

"He can't," Sirius laughed. "He's stuck to your ass."

* * *

I think that's a rather fitting ending, don't you? Once again we would like to state that were sorry that the second chapter took so long, we got writers block Oh and were working on a website now, imagine that. Http:free.hostultra.com/aaeonline/index.html

Masochistically


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